Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Robert Spencer King, Jr.

For as long as I can remember, writing has been an outlet for me. Starting when I used to write love letters and songs to Jason Robbins in the third grade, to writing letters to Larry that I never gave to him while we were dating and now with this blog. So although it feels extremely weird and just plain wrong to be writing this, I feel like I should.

A week ago today we lost our little brother. It is, unfortunately, a day I will never forget. How I wish that I could just wash that day out of my memory, but there are many scenes that are forever embeded into my mind. I'm not sure what is worse: being in pain yourself or watching someone you love more than anything be in pain. I know the combination of the two is almost unbearable.

I met Robert 12 years ago when Larry and I started dating. It didn't take me long to fall in love with this cute little boy! As a matter of fact, when Larry and I broke up after 6 months of dating, his mother and I swore we would stay in contact. I think we already realized then what a true bond we all had.

All that being said, the news of Robert's passing has been devastating for us. Although we know in our hearts where Robert is, and it is comforting, it doesn't take the pain away.

Larry, under a great amount of stress, wrote and gave the eulogy for his beloved brother this past Saturday. I am so proud of my husband for his strength and determination to honor his brother.

As long as I can remember I had always wanted a little brother. On June 26, 1989 my prayers were answered when Robert Spencer King, Jr. was born. From the moment he entered our lives, Robert’s personality permeated our hearts with a zest for living that never wavered. The twelve year difference in our ages spawned the existence of a paternal aspect to our relationship, however it is the years spent as brothers and best friends that I cherish most.

Robert’s childhood circumstances contained more pain and adversity than most, but rather than allow this to compromise his ambition, he forged within himself the spirit of a conqueror, devoted to overcoming his fears and obstacles at any cost. At the tender age of 12, Robert’s father passed away and his early teenage years were shrouded in a veil of grief and inner turmoil, so he poured himself into his many passions.

My brother became part of the rich tradition that is Katy Football and was fortunate enough to play for the State Championship with the Tigers in 2006. Robert devoted himself to the physical preparation and the cerebral aspect of football as he did any other pursuit he enjoyed such as R/C cars, airplanes, and any technological advancement or gadget he came upon or acquired.

Robert refused to conform to the patterns and accepted thought processes of this world, and instead blazed a trail of independent ideas and behavior that will forever set his days on earth apart from the norm. His incessant belief that the manufacturer never truly understood the true complexities of a device drove him to the pursuit of constant modification and destined him to be an engineer.

While studying engineering at Texas A&M, he had found his true calling as well as a large group of genuinely loving friends who appreciated Robert for all of his mischievous curiosity. Last Friday, I visited Robert at his home in College Station and we watched movies and spoke until about 5 am. The next morning I left for work and I began to think to myself that finally something good, clean, and destined for success had emerged from our family, and that if I could have a son as good as Robert I would be a lucky father indeed.

On more than one occasion, Robert and I spoke about the concept of love. To him most people simply couldn’t comprehend the depth and meaning of true love and the voluntary responsibilities that it entailed. Robert, my brother, and my best friend loved just as he lived. Deeper, stronger and more passionately than most people will ever experience.

I am eternally grateful for the blessing of love I have received from my brother and after spending some time with Roberts friends, I now realize that his spirit continues to thrive in the hearts of those he touched.

After Robert left for heaven on September 8, 2009, I found his Bible in the stand next to his bed, the marker was in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another." In the past few years, Robert had traveled from troubled adolexcent to trusted friend and confidant. I shared life issues, deep discussions regarding our faith, and received sage marital advice from a boy who had become a man wise beyond his years. Robert sharpened me, he sharpened me as a man, a Christian and a husband, and I believe he has done this with others as well.

I have been reading Ecclesiastes in my Bible lately, and at times the words of King Solomon seem quite cynical. Ecclesiastes 1:14 says “I have seen all the things done under the sun, all of them are meaningless a chasing after the wind.” I am glad today to say I disagree with the wise King. My brother’s life was not meaningless.

The things he did, the love he shared, the time he spent with people mattered then, and it matters now as his impact lives on through those that love him. Robert is survived by too many people to list, because he is represented here today by all the friends and family who will continue to carry a candle in their hearts for him as long as they walk this earth.

The truth of life is that our existence is all about making memories with our friends and family. At some point in life, those memories either become about somebody you miss or about somebody missing you when you are gone. Today is about us appreciating and cherishing to a deeper extent the day to day life that makes these memories. May we NEVER take them for granted.

We love and miss Robert tremendously. We know it will be a bumpy road ahead, and it won't be easy, but together we will make it. Although it seems almost impossible now, we will lean on eachother and on God and will somehow make it through. Our lives will never be the same without him in them, and we wouldn't want them to be. Robert left his "stamp" on our lives as he did many, I'm sure.

While many things remain unknown, a few things are for certain - we will never stop loving him, stop missing him, or forget him - EVER, and we WILL see him again.