So hard to believe that it has been 3 years since I last
posted anything to my blog! I can
honestly say that I think about writing often, so it really doesn’t seem like
it has been that long, but as seems to be the norm the last few years, time has
flown by. I won’t be able to do a quick
“summary” of all that has occurred over the last 36 months (that would take
time that I just don’t have now), but I do need to back up to a little over a
year ago to catch everyone up on how life is with the Reifschneider's.
First let me start by saying that I have always, since I can
remember, wanted to be a mother.
However, before Larry and I got married, we had the “kids” talk, and he
let me know, plain and simple, that he didn’t want to have any children. Out of pure love, or just plain naivety, I
thought that I would be able to live without children because I couldn’t
imagine living my life without him. As
time went on, and the days turned into months, and the months turned into
years, my desire for a child of my own became so great that I started feeling
myself turn toward depression. Every
time I would find out someone was pregnant, be it a friend or even a celebrity,
I would become so overwhelmed with emotion (usually not the happy kind at
first), that I would hardly be able to handle it. I’m not proud of it, but it’s true. Jealousy was definitely rearing its ugly head
with me. As the years of marriage went
from 3 to 4 to 5 to 6, I finally realized, after much prayer, that I needed to
stop being depressed and focusing on the fact that I was going to be that lady that had a bunch of nieces and nephews
(some blood related and some not) with no children of my own, and start being
happy and focusing on the things that I did have – a great husband, family, my
health, and the list goes on and on.
No sooner did I decide that I was going to be “okay” with
not ever having children when Larry gave me the news that we were not going to
be not trying to get pregnant anymore.
Make sense? We weren’t actively
“trying”, as in I wasn’t constantly checking dates on the calendar, but we
weren’t taking any preventative measures any longer. I had about 5 months to get used to the fact
that we weren’t preventing any pregnancies, and honestly, at that point, I
didn’t even know if I could get pregnant since I was already 31 years old and
my mother went through menopause at an extremely early age (29) and I started
having pre-menopausal symptoms in my early twenties.
I will never, for as long as I live, forget the day I found
out I was pregnant. Shock doesn’t even
seem like a precise enough word for how I felt.
I was sure that it wasn’t ever going to happen to me, and I honestly
just took the test to say that I did, I was positive it was going to give a
negative result.
That was June of 2012 and the following 8 ½ months were
wonderful. Aside from about 3 weeks of
nausea at the beginning and 6 weeks of “pregnancy carpal tunnel” at the end,
I’d say that it was an almost symptom free pregnancy. I’m not sure if it was simply because of how
badly I wanted it and how long I had waited and prayed for it, but I can honestly say that
I loved being pregnant and I miss it.
Crazy, I know.
March 8, 2013, Lucas Robert was born at 7:52 am weighing 7
lbs 3 oz and measuring 20 inches long. Joy
doesn’t even begin to describe the feeling.
Elation, bliss, and ecstasy seem like better words, but still are not enough
either. Not sure such a word
exists. At least not in my meager
vocabulary. Lucas is everything I ever
dreamed of and prayed for. He is the
reason I do just about anything these days.
He has brought my life such purpose and I am so thankful for him and for
this blessing God has bestowed upon us.
Larry has turned out to be an amazing father. He works hard to provide for us and no matter
how late he gets home from a hard day of killing bugs, he is always ready to
play with his son and get some “Lucas time” in before bedtime.
I am extremely blessed in the fact, that although I am
currently working 2 part time jobs (just decreased down from three), that I am
able to take Lucas to work with me. We
haven’t had to pay for daycare or deal with the colds and illnesses that inevitably
come with it, and for that we are extremely grateful.
Right now Lucas is 6 ½ months old and he seems to literally
grow every time I blink. He has
developed quite the sense of humor already, and seems to laugh at legitimately
humorous things. He is wanting to talk
so badly, and I swear he can say “Mama”, but his daddy insists that it is just
his babbling. I think he’s just jealous though! Lucas loves his jumperoo and eating (just
milk, he doesn’t quite like solids yet) and he squeals with delight when being
swung up and down.
He’s not sleeping through the night yet, but I enjoy the
extra mommy and son time we get in the wee hours, so I’m not in a hurry to make
that happen too soon. We’re anticipating
he’s going to start sitting up, teething and crawling very soon and we are
desperately looking for the slow-motion button!
If you’re still here, thanks for reading this ridiculously
long post. This basically brings you up
to date on our lives right now. I’m
going to try to post an update at least once a month. I’d love to do a weekly update on what we’re
doing like my friend does (you know who you are if you’re reading this), but I
don’t think that is very realistic right now, so I’m just going to start with
small goals.
